From my years of wine sales, I can tell you that no two sommeliers ever tasted the exact same things in the wines we presented. Not even the master sommeliers. One person’s Yuzu is another’s Calamansi, and Santa Rosa Plum is obviously Black Raspberry to the next of the smug bastards. So enough with all your crazy little details like a whiff of Madagascar Jalapeno—there’s no such fucking thing. Give us the indisputable lay of the land like restrained malt profile, citrus or tropical or weedy hops, is it true to type or a freakshow, is it balanced and is it delicious. And if it’s delicious, tell us how delicious but don’t get carried away. It’s not the happiest day of your life unless it’s Hill Farmstead or Foam Brewers. Vermont beers are fucking ridiculous.